True Colors

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Maya Angelou Quote

You meet people, like them, let your guard down and then what do they do:  show you their true colors.  I quote Maya Angelou when I say this “The first time someone shows you who they are, believe them.”  To me, this means when people really show you who they are.  Sometimes this is not the first time you meet them, or the after a month or year.  Sometimes, its after several months or years.  Its that moment when they wrong you.  You really learn people when they do something wrong to you.  If they apologize and you’re able to call it square, them usually they’re okay.  However, if they end up throwing a rock and hiding their hand, well then that tells you who they really are right there.  A liar is a liar is a liar.  You have to call it what it is.

What’s so hurtful when this happens, is when its from people who you love or care about deeply.  These are the people you have your complete guard down for.  I’m naturally not a very trusting person, for many different reasons.  That’s an entirely different post for another time though.  However, this post is one of the reasons why I don’t trust people very often, if at all.  You expect it from people out in the world, people you don’t know, but not from those close to you.  Not from those you may call friends or family.  It cuts deep when it comes from them, especially family.  Unfortunately, you can really get rid of family.  You’re tied to them by either blood or marriage.  No matter how hard you try, you can’t just throw them away or avoid them.

At times, the situation gets even more sticky when it’s a family member or members who you can’t speak openly to.  You don’t know what to say, how to say it, when to say it, or if you should even say it at all.  You’re stuck in a real pickle!  The resentment sets in, your passive aggressiveness is now in full affect.  Discomfort in their presence is the only emotion you feel.  What to do, you say?  Pray – it’s the only answer.

They’ve already shown you who they, so there’s nothing you can do.  You have to forgive, although it can be very difficult to forget.  When a situation is too big for us or out of our control, we have to pray for God to guide and lead us in the right direction.  The direction you should not go in is not coming down to that person’s level.  Be the bigger person, turn the other cheek, because the only person’s time you waste is yours.

I don’t say this easily, because I struggle letting go of things and sometimes forgiving.  It takes me a long time to get over being burned.  I don’t know if its because I end up being more upset with myself for letting my guard down, than with the person for wronging me.  Whichever it is, I have to work at it…a lot.  Sometimes there’s closure, other times not.  I’ve learned to deal with it, not be okay with, but deal.

How do you deal?  What’s your response to being burned?


11 thoughts on “True Colors

  1. I’ve been going through something similar with a family member. My reaction is to usually ignore and erase. Not my best move but with the kids and working, I don’t have time to keep trying.
    Anyway, food for thought for me. Thank you.
    Tamara recently posted…18 Things For 18 Months.

    • Tamara, I felt like you were reading my mind with your response! I think I could take a tip from you and ignore and erase. You can only try and try before you just have to let it go. Time is much better spent not giving it energy. Thanks so much for your food for thought! :-)

  2. This post is so true. I’ve found that family members tend to be the ones who have hurt me the most, mostly ones who aren’t believers in Jesus Christ. It seems that I don’t have any issues ever with people who aren’t believers in Christ that aren’t family or who are complete strangers. I think it has to do with the fact that there is so much history with family and they might have raised me, etc. But, I believe that the scripture about believers not wrestling against flesh and blood pertains to situations like this for sure. Knowing that it has to do with a more spiritual component is extremely helpful for me. I’ve also had to learn that as close as I would want to be with them, it is actually not something that is healthy for me because I know where they stand on their beliefs and how many of them choose to live their lives. This greatly impacts what you might call “true colors” or their disregard for others and my feelings. I’ll admit that it has hurt in the past, but I don’t expect too much from unbelievers. Now for believers, it is always easier to discuss and talk things out because both of our hearts seek to honor God and do His will. Be encouraged, love.
    Brittnei recently posted…PIP Healthy Products Review

  3. This is always a touchy subject because you never want to be THAT person .. you strive to do your best to be the best you can be and then you get dumped on like all the hard work you put in is never worth it. The best thing is that you just move on. You will realize that only you can make yourself feel lousy for anything. That’s our innate habit — don’t let someone else do it to you.

    Smile beauty — you have so much to smile about!

    Lanaya | xoxo
    Lanaya | Raising Reagan recently posted…An Absent Mother – Letting Go

  4. This is a wonderful saying to think over….I think we have all encountered someone in our lives who weren’t “what” they appeared to be~ Thanks for stopping by the Four Seasons Blog Hop~ Lynn @ Turnips 2 Tangerines
    Lynn H @ Turnips 2 Tangerines recently posted…

  5. I have been in the place more times than I care to count. I think I am like you in that I become more agitated with myself for allowing myself to be ‘dooped’ by them. I keep asking myself how I didn’t see it coming or see through their facade. Then I try to forgive and forget but it’s that last part that usualy comes hardest…the forgetting. It’s then I have to call my faith to the front and lay my human nature to the side because without that I would have a short list of people I trust. Truly.

    Great post Lovie! xoxox
    Tiffany recently posted…It’s Christmas Break…Now What!?!? iMommy To The Rescue!

  6. I can completely relate to you in this post. It is very difficult to be burned, especially when it takes a lot for you to trust people. I am exactly the same way. Once I learn who someone really is, it is even more difficult for me to trust them or anyone else for that matter. I start questioning what I did to deserve that treatment, or whether or not all of my friends or family are doing the same to me. I question everyone’s loyalty when I’m hurt. In the past few years, I have just learned to let it go. Everyone is not like the individual that hurt me. It has allowed me to live a more fulfilling life.

    Thanks so much for sharing on Turn It Up Tuesdays! We love having you! Great post! :)
    Natasha @ Epic Mommy Adventures recently posted…The Big Move – 2 Weeks Later

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